Guide to not Sucking

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Guide to not Sucking

Post  Alexander Conway on Sat Dec 18, 2010 11:18 pm

One of my old friends finally got in touch with this guy and got his permission for us to use his guide...so here it is.


Guide To Not Sucking

By Larry Pupkin

Do you want to improve your roleplaying skills? Well come and have a look and I'll tell you how!

While the UCE is always brimming with talent and experience you can't help but feel for all those other wrasslers in all those lesser fed; the new guys, the special kids and the downright idiots. So for just a little while I'll take my elitist head out of my elitist ass and give these guys a helping hand. That's right, it's Larry Pupkin's certifiable Guide To Not Sucking.

#1. Uh oh, Johnny Jobber has just posted a five line diatribe where he punches you in the face three and a half times and even calls you a "jabroni"! Are you going to take that? Or are you going to grow some balls and do something about it!?

Now if you're just skimming this and are already bored, then I don't care if you don't want to read the rest as long as I can impart this piece of vital information to you: SELL EVERYTHING!!!! You think four exclamation marks were too many? Wrong. In my always correct opinion, if you can sell everything that's thrown your way, whether it's a blatant OSBD or someone putting you in a compromising situation involving a blow up sheep, then you're already a better RP'er than most. SELL EVERYTHING. SELL EVERYTHING. SELL EVERYTHING. Got it? Good.

#2. Oh god, you can't believe it. Now Johnny Jobber has gone and posted off you and he's made you predominantly use your right hand when in your last post you clearly stated you were left handed! What a noob! No-sell! No-sell!

Ahem. Now before you go crying to your commish, mother or stuffed teddy bear take a deep breath and calm yourself down. Although this may seem hard, convince yourself that it really isn't the end of the world and that everyone is NOT out to get you. While it's easy for me to scream at you to sell everything, telling you simply to not no-sell isn't so easy. A fact of life is that everyone no-sells, from the lowliest regional wrassler to the USOB champion himself. Nobody is perfect... well, apart from me. What you have to realize is that nearly 99% of no-selling is unintentional. Johnny Jobber didn't mean to do it, it was just a mistake. Forgive him... let it go... take the gun away from your head... everything will be ok. Yes, it can be frustrating and yes it can be annoying but as long as you don't get too worked up about it then it should be easily rectified via a quick private message or a concise post on the OOC board.

#3. Oh dear. Your character DeAdmAnTAKER316 has just set up the most serious angle in the world and your weeks of solitary posting where you just hang around in dark corners of the arena and brood could be completely wasted because Johnny Jobber posted off you and... *GASP*... he's making jokes! What the hell are you going to do?!

Another key to being a great roleplayer is flexibility. If you want to be remembered as a truly amazing player of the game you've got to be able to hang with both serious and comedic players alike. Now this is a contentious issue with an invisible barrier often being seen between the two camps. Surely Camp Comedy can't mix with Camp Serious, no? Well I'm here to tell you that comedy and seriousness can mix! Yes, I know how it sounds but just try this wacky and dangerous theory and see if you like it. You still think I'm insane? Well, I'll give you an example, jackass. The example I present to you is the long established tag team of 'Drunk with Power', consisting of wrasslers Hooligan and Mike Anthony. Hooligan: A serious wrassler who likes to drink and swear a lot. Yeah, I know, but we're giving out points for flexibility here; not originality. Mike Anthony: a comedic, zany Juggalo with a love for ice-cream. Now as a tag team these two mainly interacted with each other for years even though they were completely different in just about every respect! So there you go, proof that both serious and comedic can mix. So next time some guy approaches you and he seems to be... *GASP*... smiling, take time to get to know him before running away like a little girl... in a dark, brooding and serious manner of course.


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Well I think that’s it for this edition. Now remember kids: SELL EVERYTHING, don’t get too much of a tent in your pants when someone no-sells you and try and be as flexible as possible. With those helpful hints employed in your everyday wrassle life you’ll go far!

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Alexander Conway
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